I think more and more about retiring when I become eligible for SS. The new Sheriff at the University, who replaced our wonderful Chinese Chair, has decided that she wants all staff (including professional staff who teach like me) to keep strict 8-5 hours, and that I should teach an extra course, which I have done in the past but did not do this spring. That has me teaching more than any other person in my same position in the state of Tejas. It just makes me tired thinking about it! Plus, I would have to hire a caregiver for more hours than we do now. We simply can't afford it. My entire paycheck for last year went for non-reimburseable medical bills, some of which were mine. Can I handle the stress for another year? Do I even want to? An even bigger question, can we afford for me to quit? To be continued...
Today is the birthday party for my son. How can he be turning 37? I don't feel old enough to have a child that age! I will enjoy seeing him, the Beautiful Daughter-in-Law and the Littlest Cowpoke as well as their friends this afternoon. I am so very fortunate to have him and Lawyer Girl for children; they have turned out to be such loving and accomplished people. LG is staying with the Ex this weekend so her stepmother can have some time off with her friends. Both kids can be so very thoughtful of their parents that it almost makes me cry sometimes. I have been truly blessed by the family God has given to me.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Summer Days
This past week has sbeen wonderfully refreshing! I stayed at a beautiful resort owned and run by the Pima and Maricopa Indians in Arizona for a great conference. Then, I drove down to Tucson to spend some time with one of my dearest friends from high school, Denny the TM'er. I wish I could have stayed longer with Denny and her husband but, at the same time, I was sooooo ready to come home to the Texan. He stayed WELL while I was gone!
The Ex is not doing well physically, but is handling all his difficulties with such grace and love. He is now on hospice care. He wrote a beautiful tribute to his wife in his blog, "Scott's Wanderings." I got very wistful after I read it, wishing he could have felt that way about me. But the fact is that he didn't, and I have my Wonderful, All-Loving Texan, who doesn't need for me to change in any way to earn or keep his love. I always felt like I walked on eggshells with the Ex trying to please him. And, quite frankly, that is no way to live at all! God knew what He was doing when he brought Tex and me together. And I am glad that the Ex found the love of his life.
One of the comments that one of his friends made was very wise; she said that often in a divorce, the man feels free and happy, but that it becomes a 5-15 year sentence for the wife, depending on the age of the children at the time. Mine were 1 and 3 at the time of our divorce. It took me 15 hard years to find the Texan, but he was definitely worth the wait.
Things at The University are kind of slow for me right now, and I am enjoying today off. I get to spend it having coffee with my neighbor/friend, giving Tex a bath, and just lazing around. Ahh, the blissful days of summer.
The Ex is not doing well physically, but is handling all his difficulties with such grace and love. He is now on hospice care. He wrote a beautiful tribute to his wife in his blog, "Scott's Wanderings." I got very wistful after I read it, wishing he could have felt that way about me. But the fact is that he didn't, and I have my Wonderful, All-Loving Texan, who doesn't need for me to change in any way to earn or keep his love. I always felt like I walked on eggshells with the Ex trying to please him. And, quite frankly, that is no way to live at all! God knew what He was doing when he brought Tex and me together. And I am glad that the Ex found the love of his life.
One of the comments that one of his friends made was very wise; she said that often in a divorce, the man feels free and happy, but that it becomes a 5-15 year sentence for the wife, depending on the age of the children at the time. Mine were 1 and 3 at the time of our divorce. It took me 15 hard years to find the Texan, but he was definitely worth the wait.
Things at The University are kind of slow for me right now, and I am enjoying today off. I get to spend it having coffee with my neighbor/friend, giving Tex a bath, and just lazing around. Ahh, the blissful days of summer.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Miracles
A miracle happened on Saturday. Tex got up early, did some chores around the house. We went out to lunch and shopping, using Mr. Incredible's magic scooter, came home and had a pleasant evening. It was as if he was his pre-illness regular self! His mind was sharp and clear, we laughed and joked, and I even believed him for that day when he said that he could drive (not that he actually did.) It was truly a day of miracles.
Sunday he was very tired but was able to go to church and to his daughter's house for a fabulous Father's Day steak. Today I am getting ready to go to Phoenix for a conference--I know, I just can't get enough of hot weather. And I will be able to take the picture of Tex on Saturday in my mind.
Isn't God good!
Sunday he was very tired but was able to go to church and to his daughter's house for a fabulous Father's Day steak. Today I am getting ready to go to Phoenix for a conference--I know, I just can't get enough of hot weather. And I will be able to take the picture of Tex on Saturday in my mind.
Isn't God good!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Summer Days
I am feeling ever so much better now that the new med has kicked in, or is it just the placebo effect from being "heard" and understand by my friendly shrink? Anyway, life at the R&R Ranch is flowing more smoothly than previously.
The Texan (also known as Ole Coot) had his 74th birthday on Friday. Among other things, I decided that it was time for him to have a scooter, so that I would feel more free to go and do things with him along. Elastigirl loaned us Mr. Incredible's scooter and so Tex and I have been playing with that one. We went up to the tank (lake for you non-Texans) near us and the Coot really enjoyed that one. We are meeting this afternoon with our Medical Mercantile Store man to see if Tex will qualify for one on his own. The Ole Coot has been really sharp and perky the last few days, also.
I also decided to take a couple of days off in the middle of this week, since my main responsibilities are on Tuesdays and Fridays this semester. So I have been having a good time "goofing off" some. Mostly by going to coffee with friends, piddling around the house, and, even catching up on my blogging during the middle of the week! Next week I will be going to Phoenix for a child abuse conference, and visiting with high school friends in Tucson on the weekend. Hurrah!
The Texan (also known as Ole Coot) had his 74th birthday on Friday. Among other things, I decided that it was time for him to have a scooter, so that I would feel more free to go and do things with him along. Elastigirl loaned us Mr. Incredible's scooter and so Tex and I have been playing with that one. We went up to the tank (lake for you non-Texans) near us and the Coot really enjoyed that one. We are meeting this afternoon with our Medical Mercantile Store man to see if Tex will qualify for one on his own. The Ole Coot has been really sharp and perky the last few days, also.
I also decided to take a couple of days off in the middle of this week, since my main responsibilities are on Tuesdays and Fridays this semester. So I have been having a good time "goofing off" some. Mostly by going to coffee with friends, piddling around the house, and, even catching up on my blogging during the middle of the week! Next week I will be going to Phoenix for a child abuse conference, and visiting with high school friends in Tucson on the weekend. Hurrah!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Bugs and Boys
The depression bug has come back again; so, a trip to my friendly psychiatrist was in order. He is fiddling with my meds so they can bite back the bug. Also, he referred me for a neuropsychiatric evaluation to see why I have been so forgetful, whether it is the depression or a leftover from my CVA back last September. (I'm betting on the latter.) Meanwhile, life is just kind of blah right now. Let's hope that the insurance will cover it, as I understand that it is two days of testing, yipes!
We did have a lovely Sunday. After church the Texan and I joined some friends to celebrate the Blonde Lawn Boy's graduation from high school and his birthday as well. I have known BLB since he was a tiny tyke of two when he tore through the narthex chased by his father and mother whom I had known in years past. What a joy to see him grown up into a fine young man. He gave one of the youth sermons and it was killer!
We did have a lovely Sunday. After church the Texan and I joined some friends to celebrate the Blonde Lawn Boy's graduation from high school and his birthday as well. I have known BLB since he was a tiny tyke of two when he tore through the narthex chased by his father and mother whom I had known in years past. What a joy to see him grown up into a fine young man. He gave one of the youth sermons and it was killer!
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