Somber Advent

This entire advent season has been a hard road, with Tex being in three hospitals, one rehab center, and he will most likely be going to a skilled nursing facility this week before Christmas. His level of alertness is up and down and all around - after two absolutely clear days he was totally confused for the last two. Sometimes I can handle it all, and sometimes I can't. My Dearly Beloved Cousin called this week and gave me a wonderful gift of Words and Tears. Now, I can sometimes cry when I realize that he is so very ill. I had nursed a secret hope that he might be strong enough to come home for the day on Christmas, but I doubt that can happen now. All I can really say is, "Lord, be mericiful."

This is A Hard Season for so many people I know. But the donkey trudges on to Bethlehem, and Christ will be born on Christmas Eve. Hallelujah!

home or Home? Or, maybe, someplace else.

After I spent timelooking into Rehabs & skilled nursing facilities, it looks like Tex will be going to a Long Term Acute Care facility for a couple more weeks of IV antibiotic therapy. Hopefully, they can also build up his ability to swallow and take in enough liquids by mouth. Then maybe to a rehab facility where they can build up his muscles (and level of alertness) to where he can come home? I really have to face the fact that I don't know what is going to happen, and leave him in the Hands of God. I really don't like that! I want to be in charge! My prayer has been to "heal him, Lord, so he can come home - or - just take him Home. None of this long-term care stuff!" Sometimes God says, "my time is not your time." I'm not too crazy about that answer but it seems to be what I am seeing take place.

Advent- the time of coming

Advent is the time of "coming." I am now a little bit hopeful that Fred will get back from his 2nd hospitalization with this round of illness (in Lewisville Med Center this time), and will "come" back to rehab for a period of strengthening, and will "come home" in time for Christmas. He is responding in his more usual way to the antibiotics and hydration that he is receiving this time after his kidneys began to shut down in rehab. I think that he needed this extra round in the hospital to give him a chance to beat down this particular infection. I truly have been much more calm since he went into the hospital on Wednesday. He is "coming back to himself" instead of having his mind wander in the ozone constantly. He can even crack a few jokes again! Thank you for all your prayers.

Fred is a little bit better today, thanks be to God!

Thanksgiving 2009

What a different Thanksgiving! Woke up and gave thanks for many things, from the blessings of electricity to taking an early morning walk with my dear Neighbor Friend. Then went to the Rehab Center to be with Tex, who is worse than I have ever seen him. I fought tears. Then Tex's beautiful daughter Bird Girl and her husband came. Bird G. is so wonderful with her Daddy that I was touched. Also very thankful that she had invited me to share in her sister-in-law's Thanksgiving dinner. Saw Tex again last night and think that we may have to move him to a hospital. Big quandry for me is whether to move him to a neighborhood suburban hospital where his doctors know him and I can get to it, or to a downtown hospital which has more resources but where they do not know him and is very hard for me to get to. Please, God, help me to make the right decision. I love Tex so much but he is suffering so very much. Lord have mercy on Tex and alleviate his suffering.

Adios, mi Compadre

It seems like a long time since I have updated this blog. Once we got back from the cruise, it took over a week to get through the profound fatigue that I had absorbed from the trip. It was a great trip, nice to know that we can travel that way, but I really need an extra person along so that I can get away for a few minutes.

Then it seemed that we were into the world where we lost our Compadre, the father of the Beautiful Daughter-in-law. He was diagnosed two months ago with liver cancer, had surgery which failed, then went into hospice, and died this Monday. Yesterday, I went down to the Spanish-speaking rosary which was held for him. It was a beautiful service, very moving, which from my poor translation, seemed to be asking Mary, the Mother of Jesus, to care for her son JP. Let Light Perpetual shine upon him.

Back from the Cruise

Tex and I had a great time on our cruise out of Galveston. Spent lots of great together time on the ship since he did not trust his scooter skills on the mainland. (He drives his scooter just like he drives a car, only the crashes are not deadly!) We are very tired but were delighted to find that he can travel this way. Lots of love to all.