Waiting and Waiting for Baby S.

I am having a hard time waiting for my daughter's baby to come. It has brought up memories of my labor and delivery of my two children, both of which were pretty positive experiences. Part of it is that I know what she is facing and she does not. It will be unlike anything she has ever done before, something where your intellect does not get to be in charge, where your body takes over, and you work HARD. Lawyer Girl is in very good physical shape, she has exercised this whole pregnancy, and the baby seems to be in very good shape. Nevertheless, I am having a tough time relaxing and going with the flow, wanting it to be over. She is much more relaxed about it than I am.

Waiting for the newest creation

Any day now we will get to meet the newest little creation of Lawyer Girl and the Mad Scientist. Is he going to be known as the Nematode Brief or the Microvirus Lawsuit? He will certainly make a major splash in the Gr-Su pond! All is ready for him now, lovely nursery, excited parents and grandparents... Any time little guy!

Midsummer Dream

My neighbor reminded me yesterday that summer is half over, and school will start in six weeks. Where has the time gone? I have done so very little in the way of accomplishments but a great deal of resting, relaxing, and napping. Mornings are my favorite time of day. We have coffee out on the deck nearly every morning, visiting and watching the birds. I kept buying plants and flowers until I found some that I could not kill, so the backyard is pretty and fragrant. My dear friend in the neighborhood often stops by after walking her dog. Sometimes Tex is up with us, and sometimes not. His health is on an upswing right now so we are able to enjoy the mornings together. Life is sweet in the mornings. I am learning to look for and accept the things of beauty that the Lord has provided.

Post retirement

I haven't blogged in a long time, and I am not sure why. So much going on, with the end of school and the actual fact of my retirement. It has been an emotional time, even though I know this is the right thing to do. Mornings we sit out on the deck and have coffee, watching the birds. Sometimes with Fred and sometimes with my neighbor Sherry. I have had a lot of errands to run, and seem to have settled in for a quick nap while Fred sleeps in the afternoon. I try to read but instead, I match his breathing and go to sleep.

End of the Year and the End of a Career

One of the things I wanted to get done before I retired was to get the house in good repair. Even though I am retiring a year earlier than I had planned, I am actually getting it all done. My fabulous contractor Jody has put in 10 new windows in the back room overlooking the pool, along with moving the door around to the north side of the back yard. This gives us a gorgeous view of the pool and plants. We will also have a gated deck so that the little grandchildren can actually play outside. I never thought that I would live in such a beautiful house as this is turning out to be!

I have taught my last class; all that is left is to balance the grades, write the annual report, and pack my things and bring them home. Closets have been cleaned out, lots of stuff given to the church garage sale, and even the office has been improved some (I have to have a mess somewhere or it won't feel like home.)

The students and faculty gave me such a tribute last Friday night at the BSSW Student Banquet that I am still enjoying the glow from it. I feel that at the apex of my career I was respected, loved, and going to be missed. What a great way to leave! One of the things I have always believed is to leave while people still want you to stay.

Here is what was written on the plaque they presented to me:

ANNA RAE ROZELL
For impeccable service and dedication to the social work field.
You were a mentor, an advocate, and you motivated us to succeed.
You made a difference in our lives.
The BSW students of UNT.

Then each one of the students wrote an individual note as well.
Who could want to accomplish any more than this?

April Thoughts

My flowers are abundant this spring--lots of pansies, daffodils, coreopsis, batflowers, and the first iris bloomed yesterday, the Megan Elizabeth iris! I am actually enjoying some of the work I have done in the flower beds!

I seem to be a somewhat different person right now. Fred came home about 10 days ago; far from feeling trapped in the house with him, I am enjoying taking care of him at times. He cannot walk, he can hardly make transfers, I often have to feed him because of the severe tremors, and he can't be left alone. But I find myself strangely peaceful about it all. It is wonderful to have him to kiss and cuddle. Of course, there are moments when I don't know what to do and feel panic, but mostly, I am quite content staying in the house with him. Part of this is because of the wonderful support system we have, with hospice nurse and aides, Janine is back from Kind Companions, friends coming by to visit etc. If you had asked me even a year ago if I could care for him when he is bedridden, I would have said "no." How often I forget that God gives us the grace to deal with each day as it comes.

An Emotional Spring

It is Spring here in Texas, trees blooming with white pear blossoms everywhere, daffodils coming up etc. And Tex is still in the hospital, having spent 10 days at home since the middle of November. Lots of UTI's which can no longer be prevented, according to the urologist. He wants to come home; I want him home. After being on the 24 hour care circuit for 4 UTI's in 4 months, I think we can care for him as well at home. The emotional issue is whether or not to initiate hospice care. I believe that it is time. Bird Girl is leery that her father will not get the care he needs to fight the UTI's agressively. It will take a combination of hospice and home health care to do that, now that he only responds to IV antibiotics. I think that we can do this, and that he needs to be home. Maybe he can pull off another miracle; he has done this before. Maybe our time together is running out. Regardless, we want to spend it together. Please keep Tex, me, and our whole family in your prayers.