After Thanksgiving

It is this strange time of year- after Thanksgiving, which was particularly wonderful this year - and before Advent. Everywhere I look, people have their Christmas decorations up, radio stations began broadcasting Christmas carols on T-giving afternoon, those that had the decency to wait for T-giving, that is. And I feel like saying, "bah, humbug!" I don't feel like Christmas yet, and I do not even want to feel like it. Can't we bask in the glow of Thanksgiving for a few days? I realize that I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, and maybe that is what I am.

I am looking forward to the celebration of Advent and Christmas that we have at Annunciation - lots of musical events, Musical Feast, The Baroque concert, The Annunciation Chamber Singers, and Lessons and Carols. More and more I want to celebrate the season, and the gift-giving means less and less every year.

All of my family, except the grandchildren, are getting donations to charity this year. Oh, I'll have a few small gifts, for the grown kids, but that is what they are, small and/or homemade. There are a few things that I get for the Texan, and he. of course, needs to get a little something for me. I guess I am being unAmerican by not buying out all the retail stores, but the economy will just have to survive without me.

I am still in the Thankful mood, thankful for the dear friends who are part of our collected family, thankful for the family that I was born into, gave birth to, or married into, thankful for the health we have this year, even caught myself being thankful for indoor plumbing when it got really cold one night! Maybe I will just stay in the Thankful mood until Christmas Eve, when we have a Special One to be thankful for.

Thanksgiving Day

How can I possibly give thanks for all that God has given me? Allowing me to be born to parents who taught us that family loves and supports each other with integrity; to be born into a country and family that supports education for women so that I can use the good mind I was blessed to have; to be a Christian, Episcopalian, and member of Annunciation so as to never be alone in my joys and sorrows; giving me a husband who has taught me what real love is, in sickness and in health; giving me children who love me despite my flaws as a mother and for whom I thank God; and in giving me friends and family to spend this day with. For so many countless other blessings in my life. Thank you, Lord God. Amen

A Good Day!

Today was a good day, one of accomplishing things that I had put off. I had three interviews with students, taught my Child Welfare class, arranged service learning placements for students whose others had not worked out, made a field visit with a student and her supervisor, spent almost two hours getting home around a horrible traffic accident without getting frustrated much, and have a quiet evening at home with the Texan without any grading tonight! Whoo! Busy, yes, but such a feeling of accomplishment. Thank you, God, for this good day. Please deal mercifully with the two people who were burned so badly in the accident that has shut down the major N/S interstate, also with those who are still caught in the horrendous traffic snarl that has resulted. Also, I am thankful for the lovely glass of shiraz that I am having before I cook dinner!

Veteran's Day

Our church acknowledged the members of the congregation who are veterans during the service yesterday. My husband slowly walked to the front, pushing his walker. I remembered that I am the daughter, sister, wife, and mother of American veterans and it filled me with a sense of somewhat rueful pride. I was opposed to the Vietnam war in the 1960's; I am saddened by the senselessness of the Iraq war and the phony pretexts that were given for our going into that war, sadness at the tremendous loss of life that it has caused for all concerned; I am angry at both the Muslim extremists who don't seem to care who gets killed and at our American government officials who don't seem to care either. In fact, they seem to lie and scheme in order to get us into this war, and now, truly do not seem to have any exit plan. There is all kind of emotional language being thrown around but very little common sense at play here.

War is an evil that we as a species do not seem to even truly want to avoid. How can a just God forgive us all the evil that we do and do so in the name of protecting ourselves? (I must trust that Grace really does exist.) Was World War II the just war? Are Vietnam and the Middle Eastern wars unjust wars? How do we support the men and women who are in the military without supporting what they have been ordered to do? How can tax cuts be proposed when we are not coming close to paying for the care these veterans need when they come home?

I understand PTSD; I understand secondary PTSD for those who care for the wounded in our society. Social workers work with traumatized victims of violence, and suffer themselves as they care for these victims. When do we start taking proper care, not just of ourselves and those we love, but also of those whose names we do not know, of soldiers who can't stand being in a crowded WalMart and of children who have seen family members shot and killed? When does the human race stop caring just about our little group and caring for the world?

I can only do what I can do. This year, at least, we are giving our Christmas money to the Heifer Project instead of buying gifts for adults who already have more than enough stuff (ourselves included.) Lord, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

Happy Veteran's Day, Robert Jessup, Dan Jessup, Terry Moore, Fred Rozell, and Ben Griffiths.
I love you and thank you.

"The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things..."

It seems that my thoughts are of many disconnected things today.

I FEEL GOOD and have for three days now! My psychiatrist gave me some medicine "to push through the fatigue" and it actually is working. I am very relieved as I had just been dragging through my days before that, would have a good few hours, but would be ready for a very long nap after that. My job and home responsibilities simply didn't quit because I wanted a nap, imagine that! Now, I actually have the energy to want to do things. Hallelujah!

My friend Janet had a stem cell transfusion yesterday; please, Lord, let it work and work well for her. The next 10 days are critically important; please, anyone who reads this, pray for Janet and her family.

Tex and I want to do a weekend getaway soon, but it has to be within easy driving range for me. I need to look at a website for B & B's within about 150 miles. We have not done anything like this in a long time, and we used to do it frequently. It is time to build in some fun for us, even with his extremely limited mobility in mind.

It is a glorious, crisp, fall day in Texas today, and we may even get some rain next week. I have always loved the fall season best.

Finally, it is time to put the Halloween decorations away. Yep, housework calls.

Halloween!

So far, we have had a few Trick or Treaters come to the door. It seems that every year there are a few less than the year before. I think that parents are too paranoid to let the kids have ordinary fun like we did when I was young.(I date myself, huh?) I remember going all over our neighborhood for blocks and blocks, collecting candy in a pillow slip, coming home to dump it out and split it with my little brothers who were too scared to go out themselves. There are stories now on the news about obesity in children, yet we were encouraged to walk or ride our bikes to schools. It was rare for a parent to take their child to school. Is our world actually more dangerous now or are we just more frightened? Kids no longer have the kind of freedom to explore their world, and that strikes me as sad.

Ever since I was told to put the Texan into a nursing home because he was going to die (three years ago), I have leaned heavily on God, prayers, and my friends to get me through all the incredible ups and downs that Tex has gone through. One of the most important gifts of Grace has been learning to live in the present instead of dwelling in the past and future. The Texan has gotten better instead of worse, and has been back home for 15 months now! His health has kind of hit a plateau but it is one we both can live with and still find joy in each other's company. Grace wins out over Tricks every time!

The Kinship Fair

I went to the Kinship Fair put on by CPS in Denton this morning. It was a beautiful, crisp, sunshine-y day, with lots of kids and adults at the various booths. I really enjoyed seeing some of my old students there. Some of my current students are volunteering for class credit. Lots of hugs from CPS friends. Today was the first inkling of enthusiasm that I have had for my work since the stroke.

The fatigue and lack of serotonin have been getting me down lately. More and more, I consider retiring early at 62. I could do it but I would just be increasing more caregiving for letting go of the paid work. I don't see a reduction in my workload either way and what I really want is a nice long temporary break from responsibility.
Ordinarily, I love my job and love having the Texan be at home. Oh well, it is too pretty a day for a pity party.