Sunday, April 11, 2010

April Thoughts

My flowers are abundant this spring--lots of pansies, daffodils, coreopsis, batflowers, and the first iris bloomed yesterday, the Megan Elizabeth iris! I am actually enjoying some of the work I have done in the flower beds!

I seem to be a somewhat different person right now. Fred came home about 10 days ago; far from feeling trapped in the house with him, I am enjoying taking care of him at times. He cannot walk, he can hardly make transfers, I often have to feed him because of the severe tremors, and he can't be left alone. But I find myself strangely peaceful about it all. It is wonderful to have him to kiss and cuddle. Of course, there are moments when I don't know what to do and feel panic, but mostly, I am quite content staying in the house with him. Part of this is because of the wonderful support system we have, with hospice nurse and aides, Janine is back from Kind Companions, friends coming by to visit etc. If you had asked me even a year ago if I could care for him when he is bedridden, I would have said "no." How often I forget that God gives us the grace to deal with each day as it comes.