Wednesday, October 31, 2007


So far, we have had a few Trick or Treaters come to the door. It seems that every year there are a few less than the year before. I think that parents are too paranoid to let the kids have ordinary fun like we did when I was young.(I date myself, huh?) I remember going all over our neighborhood for blocks and blocks, collecting candy in a pillow slip, coming home to dump it out and split it with my little brothers who were too scared to go out themselves. There are stories now on the news about obesity in children, yet we were encouraged to walk or ride our bikes to schools. It was rare for a parent to take their child to school. Is our world actually more dangerous now or are we just more frightened? Kids no longer have the kind of freedom to explore their world, and that strikes me as sad.

Ever since I was told to put the Texan into a nursing home because he was going to die (three years ago), I have leaned heavily on God, prayers, and my friends to get me through all the incredible ups and downs that Tex has gone through. One of the most important gifts of Grace has been learning to live in the present instead of dwelling in the past and future. The Texan has gotten better instead of worse, and has been back home for 15 months now! His health has kind of hit a plateau but it is one we both can live with and still find joy in each other's company. Grace wins out over Tricks every time!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

The Kinship Fair

I went to the Kinship Fair put on by CPS in Denton this morning. It was a beautiful, crisp, sunshine-y day, with lots of kids and adults at the various booths. I really enjoyed seeing some of my old students there. Some of my current students are volunteering for class credit. Lots of hugs from CPS friends. Today was the first inkling of enthusiasm that I have had for my work since the stroke.

The fatigue and lack of serotonin have been getting me down lately. More and more, I consider retiring early at 62. I could do it but I would just be increasing more caregiving for letting go of the paid work. I don't see a reduction in my workload either way and what I really want is a nice long temporary break from responsibility.
Ordinarily, I love my job and love having the Texan be at home. Oh well, it is too pretty a day for a pity party.

Friday, October 26, 2007

It's Been a Week!

I feel like I have been running in a track and field meet this whole week! First, I took my first adventure away from home since my major medical event. Flew to San Antonio for a conference regarding my Title IV-E contract, spent a blessedly quiet night in a hotel, then drove to Austin to stay with Lawyer Girl and meet her Virus Researcher/Scientist Guy. VR/S Guy is quite cute, very social, and a lot of fun...not at all my idea of a research geek. He and Lawyer Girl definitely have the same kind of humor and are really cute together. They drove me back home, then went on to meet #1 Son and his family and go to the State Fair. Mercifully, I stayed at home with the Texan. Of course, we then drove into Big D the next morning, so the Texan could meet VR/S Guy. I think I slept the rest of the weekend.

Taught an extra practicum class on Monday, as well as my own classes. Also did several doctor visits for Tex and me, plus the beginning of my physical therapy, Hallelujah! Now I get to drive to Arlington (40 miles away) to deal with one of my students who is being terminated from her practicum, for good cause, I might add. Then, hopefully, will get my car back from the shop, turn in the rental car, and grade 90 papers this weekend. Whew! I must be getting better, just to survive this week. This fatigue factor is getting to be a real drag! But the neuro says the brain will retrain itself in a few months; I can hardly wait for it.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Going to a Hotter Place

I am unduly excited about going to an even hotter city in Texas than my own. It is the first time since the str... that I have felt well enough to actually get on an airplane and attend a meeting regarding the contract that pays me enough to keep the Texan and me in hearth and home. Hurrah for our side! Boooo to bad spot in the brain!

The Texan will stay with the Bird Girl, and I will stay in a hotel, drinking my little bottle of zinfandel, going to the meeting, then driving to the Capitol to stay with my wonderful Lawyer Girl. Evidently, this is "meet the family" time for Lawyer Girl and her (micro)Virus Guy. They are coming up to Dallas to meet our family, then she is going to the East Coast with him to meet his friends back there (and his family?)in a week or so. I am so very, very glad that my Lawyer Girl is happy with him. I think I would like him even if he were hairy and covered with stripes.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Rejoining the World

I found myself profoundly glad to be at the women's knitting group after church today. I have missed the company of women in my life. I spend so much time being the caregiver and wife that I miss out on social events. This afternoon was low-key and very enjoyable. I found myself wistful that the Texan and I were not included in the party and the small group that were talked about but realize that I am too much of a introvert to be part of these groups. The Pastoral Care group is very enriching and supportive for me, and that is probably all that I can take on. Even came home to find the Texan had taken out the kitchen trash!

During my haircut and color with the new stylist, I learned a lot about the Muslim society and customs for women. She is a very interesting lady who was born into a Muslim family, came to America, was divorced, and became a Christian. She had not been back to see her family for 18 years, until last year. She was literally afraid for her life. She said that if a Muslim changes religion, "Their blood is free." Anyone can kill them without fear of reprisal. Dear God! What a society! What courage to become a Christian! I was profoundly moved by her story.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Good Gifts

Yesterday we received good news from the neurologist--no more tests, my brain should heal itself completely in 4-6 months, my stroke was caused by the arteriogram (a very rare occurrence, says he), it should not be repeated, that I am going to be completely OK! No extra medicine, no more anything! Hurrah! What a relief! I have really stewed about how I could continue to take care of The Texan if I went down again.

I realized this week what a different take I have on things from the average citizen. There was a story about a registered sex offender who had worked as a night janitor for 20 years for a local school district who was found dead in the boy's locker room with his pants down and a bag over his head. While the paper and the school district were horrified to find that the man had a past of criminal sex acts and had applied for a job under a false name, they are now fingerprinting everyone in sight. Everyone is saying "ain't it awful that such a person could come on the school campus at night."

Me, I feel really sorry for the man who had to resort to such means to get a job, found one where he never came into contact with children, and died trying to have an intense sexual experience... by himself! It seems to me that this poor guy was trying to do his best not to reoffend and succeeding at that! I don't have much sympathy for sexual offenders but, my gosh, this guy deserves some credit for trying to deal with his sexual problems in a non-offending way. I guess I have worked for Child Protective Services for too long.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Jumping Over Hurdles

It has been a month since I started this blog. During that time, I have had a TIA, Transient Global Amnesia, and a probably small stroke affecting my eyesight and equilibrium. Oh, yes, and Fred went to the hospital for a few days in there. What a month!

Thank you, God, for family and friends! At least when I did all my antics both my grown children were present and took me to the hospital. When Fred did his, my son took him to the hospital and called Fred's daughter. Then Ben and Robin split the care for the ailing Rozells, with what seemed like all of Annunciation taking care of us when we got home and lots of support from Ben, Meg, and Robin. This, truly, is Grace in action.

I don't like having my body fail me like it has! I have depended on it for a long time, and need it to hang tough so that I can continue to take care of Fred. This week I go back to the neurologist to find out the results of all the many tests I have taken. Keep me in your prayers that the symptoms go away and that I don't need further work.