My flowers are abundant this spring--lots of pansies, daffodils, coreopsis, batflowers, and the first iris bloomed yesterday, the Megan Elizabeth iris! I am actually enjoying some of the work I have done in the flower beds!
I seem to be a somewhat different person right now. Fred came home about 10 days ago; far from feeling trapped in the house with him, I am enjoying taking care of him at times. He cannot walk, he can hardly make transfers, I often have to feed him because of the severe tremors, and he can't be left alone. But I find myself strangely peaceful about it all. It is wonderful to have him to kiss and cuddle. Of course, there are moments when I don't know what to do and feel panic, but mostly, I am quite content staying in the house with him. Part of this is because of the wonderful support system we have, with hospice nurse and aides, Janine is back from Kind Companions, friends coming by to visit etc. If you had asked me even a year ago if I could care for him when he is bedridden, I would have said "no." How often I forget that God gives us the grace to deal with each day as it comes.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
An Emotional Spring
It is Spring here in Texas, trees blooming with white pear blossoms everywhere, daffodils coming up etc. And Tex is still in the hospital, having spent 10 days at home since the middle of November. Lots of UTI's which can no longer be prevented, according to the urologist. He wants to come home; I want him home. After being on the 24 hour care circuit for 4 UTI's in 4 months, I think we can care for him as well at home. The emotional issue is whether or not to initiate hospice care. I believe that it is time. Bird Girl is leery that her father will not get the care he needs to fight the UTI's agressively. It will take a combination of hospice and home health care to do that, now that he only responds to IV antibiotics. I think that we can do this, and that he needs to be home. Maybe he can pull off another miracle; he has done this before. Maybe our time together is running out. Regardless, we want to spend it together. Please keep Tex, me, and our whole family in your prayers.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Year 21
Tex has been back home for a few days now so we are slowly laying down some new routines. He is in a wheelchair now so getting around is a bit more cumbersome. The lightweight folding chair is a godsend! It is soooo good to have him home!
It has been good to have the part-time caregiver back to help out and to teach me some easier ways to do things. He wants to try going to church tomorrow; keep your fingers crossed for us.
We had a fabulous 20th wedding anniversary party, just two weeks ago! Lots of family and a few dear friends came to celebrate with us. The food was delicious and the company was even better.
All is well on the home front.
It has been good to have the part-time caregiver back to help out and to teach me some easier ways to do things. He wants to try going to church tomorrow; keep your fingers crossed for us.
We had a fabulous 20th wedding anniversary party, just two weeks ago! Lots of family and a few dear friends came to celebrate with us. The food was delicious and the company was even better.
All is well on the home front.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Walking in a Winter Wonderland!
Well, chickadees, it has been snowing and snowing and snowing here at the R & R Ranch. Here in the Lone Star State, we get an occasional inch or two of snow, which causes everyone to get all excited, schools to close, and we all have a SNOW Day. Now, I have lived in cold country and I know what real blizzards are like, but we are having a blizzard here! So far, between 7 and 9 inches. And it will ice over tonight! Yipes! What that really means is that I will not get to go to GrandFriends Day at the Little Cowpoke's school. Darn!
Other news: Tex and I have been married for 20 years, as of yesterday. We are going to have a luncheon for family and a very few friends on Saturday. (Weather should permit!) Being married to Tex has been remarkably easy, all things considered. A few life situations have been thrown at us, but we are more in love than ever. That boy has a capacity for love that is absolutely phenomenol. I have truly learned about God's love from watching Tex.
His health seems to have stabilized although there continue to be UTI's. So, we are planning to have him come home after the DOK retreat. Hooray! We know his health is fragile but God has brought us this far, and there have been some very good years while his body continues to do its Parkonsonism thing. We have been truly blessed!
Other news: Tex and I have been married for 20 years, as of yesterday. We are going to have a luncheon for family and a very few friends on Saturday. (Weather should permit!) Being married to Tex has been remarkably easy, all things considered. A few life situations have been thrown at us, but we are more in love than ever. That boy has a capacity for love that is absolutely phenomenol. I have truly learned about God's love from watching Tex.
His health seems to have stabilized although there continue to be UTI's. So, we are planning to have him come home after the DOK retreat. Hooray! We know his health is fragile but God has brought us this far, and there have been some very good years while his body continues to do its Parkonsonism thing. We have been truly blessed!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Mid-January Goings-On
The Ranch house is getting knee-deep in dust again as the workmen gut the second bathroom! But I will love having my walk-in shower and vanity area updated. I picked out the tile yesterday, spending a fortune at the local Lowe's. Tex's bathroom is completely done, complete with matching towels, etc. Unfortunately, the vanity is piled high with both Tex's and my bathroom gear on the top.
Tex himself is making slow progress, but progress nonetheless. With the help of a wheelchair van, I was able to bring him home for a few hours on the weekend. It wasn't easy, but it was doable. Why was I so exhausted afterward? I am going over to the Rehab center to work with him on getting in and out of our car, so I don't have to spend $$ on a van next time.
I am loving having more time at home to get things done, even things like yardwork (eek!) and laundry etc. I guess my Inner Housekeeper is coming out. (Honest, no one has ever even seen a glimpse of her before. Not in my whole life.)
When I was feeling really blue on Monday, I piled into my trusty Honda and took a trip to East Dallas to have lunch with my son Bud and the two Little Cowpokes. It did my spirits and my heart a world of good just to be with them for a couple of hours. The 6 year old Cowpoke gives the best-est hugs and just grinned when he saw me come in. The Baby Cowpoke smiled, gummed his finger food, and showed off his new self-feeding skills. They are such wonderful, wonderful kids. Not that this Nonna is prejudiced but I am simply reporting the facts.
Dryheat Dan called me last night to tell me that his Mother-in-law Kathleen had died yesterday, at age 83. Evidently it was a very peaceful death. I have had such love for her ever since she helped my mother with my dad's death. I'm glad that I got to visit with her a few months ago. She was a beautiful and gracious lady, who was cheerful, loving all those around her, even as she slid quietly into senility. May Light shine upon her, and all those who loved her. My sister-in-law Irish Ani took care of her for the last few years of her life, until she simply required 24 hour care. I am reminded once again what good people are in my family. Please pray for the soul of Kathleen, and comfort in grief for Ani and Dan.
Tex himself is making slow progress, but progress nonetheless. With the help of a wheelchair van, I was able to bring him home for a few hours on the weekend. It wasn't easy, but it was doable. Why was I so exhausted afterward? I am going over to the Rehab center to work with him on getting in and out of our car, so I don't have to spend $$ on a van next time.
I am loving having more time at home to get things done, even things like yardwork (eek!) and laundry etc. I guess my Inner Housekeeper is coming out. (Honest, no one has ever even seen a glimpse of her before. Not in my whole life.)
When I was feeling really blue on Monday, I piled into my trusty Honda and took a trip to East Dallas to have lunch with my son Bud and the two Little Cowpokes. It did my spirits and my heart a world of good just to be with them for a couple of hours. The 6 year old Cowpoke gives the best-est hugs and just grinned when he saw me come in. The Baby Cowpoke smiled, gummed his finger food, and showed off his new self-feeding skills. They are such wonderful, wonderful kids. Not that this Nonna is prejudiced but I am simply reporting the facts.
Dryheat Dan called me last night to tell me that his Mother-in-law Kathleen had died yesterday, at age 83. Evidently it was a very peaceful death. I have had such love for her ever since she helped my mother with my dad's death. I'm glad that I got to visit with her a few months ago. She was a beautiful and gracious lady, who was cheerful, loving all those around her, even as she slid quietly into senility. May Light shine upon her, and all those who loved her. My sister-in-law Irish Ani took care of her for the last few years of her life, until she simply required 24 hour care. I am reminded once again what good people are in my family. Please pray for the soul of Kathleen, and comfort in grief for Ani and Dan.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
New Year/New Life
Well, it's official. I am going to be teaching one class this semester while I exhaust my leave balances and work one quarter time! Hurrah! Hurrah! At the end of May, I will officially retire from UNT. I actually decided to retire at the end of January and adjunct one class, but this arrangement works out better for us financially as well as having the advantage of keeping things clean with the Teacher's Retirement System which says I cannot work or volunteer in any capacity for 30 days after retiring. It will give me more time to be with Tex as well as be much less hectic than the last 60 days.
Also on a happy note, I had dinner with my dear friends from the Pastoral Care group which has been more or less dissolved by our new Deacon. We decided that we would meet quarterly as a group since we have become so close over the past years. I absolutely love these ladies and have missed getting together with them as a group over the fall.
My house is covered in dust and a bit of mess as the contractors are working on my new bathrooms, one of which is being widened for Tex and one of which is being turned into a lovely shower for me. It should all be back to normal in a couple of weeks.
Well, I need to go see Tex at his Hacienda Por Rehab on this bitterly cold day, one for the record books. Fortunately, very little ice came with this Arctic Blast.
Also on a happy note, I had dinner with my dear friends from the Pastoral Care group which has been more or less dissolved by our new Deacon. We decided that we would meet quarterly as a group since we have become so close over the past years. I absolutely love these ladies and have missed getting together with them as a group over the fall.
My house is covered in dust and a bit of mess as the contractors are working on my new bathrooms, one of which is being widened for Tex and one of which is being turned into a lovely shower for me. It should all be back to normal in a couple of weeks.
Well, I need to go see Tex at his Hacienda Por Rehab on this bitterly cold day, one for the record books. Fortunately, very little ice came with this Arctic Blast.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Somber Advent
This entire advent season has been a hard road, with Tex being in three hospitals, one rehab center, and he will most likely be going to a skilled nursing facility this week before Christmas. His level of alertness is up and down and all around - after two absolutely clear days he was totally confused for the last two. Sometimes I can handle it all, and sometimes I can't. My Dearly Beloved Cousin called this week and gave me a wonderful gift of Words and Tears. Now, I can sometimes cry when I realize that he is so very ill. I had nursed a secret hope that he might be strong enough to come home for the day on Christmas, but I doubt that can happen now. All I can really say is, "Lord, be mericiful."
This is A Hard Season for so many people I know. But the donkey trudges on to Bethlehem, and Christ will be born on Christmas Eve. Hallelujah!
This is A Hard Season for so many people I know. But the donkey trudges on to Bethlehem, and Christ will be born on Christmas Eve. Hallelujah!
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