Fred is a little bit better today, thanks be to God!

Thanksgiving 2009

What a different Thanksgiving! Woke up and gave thanks for many things, from the blessings of electricity to taking an early morning walk with my dear Neighbor Friend. Then went to the Rehab Center to be with Tex, who is worse than I have ever seen him. I fought tears. Then Tex's beautiful daughter Bird Girl and her husband came. Bird G. is so wonderful with her Daddy that I was touched. Also very thankful that she had invited me to share in her sister-in-law's Thanksgiving dinner. Saw Tex again last night and think that we may have to move him to a hospital. Big quandry for me is whether to move him to a neighborhood suburban hospital where his doctors know him and I can get to it, or to a downtown hospital which has more resources but where they do not know him and is very hard for me to get to. Please, God, help me to make the right decision. I love Tex so much but he is suffering so very much. Lord have mercy on Tex and alleviate his suffering.

Adios, mi Compadre

It seems like a long time since I have updated this blog. Once we got back from the cruise, it took over a week to get through the profound fatigue that I had absorbed from the trip. It was a great trip, nice to know that we can travel that way, but I really need an extra person along so that I can get away for a few minutes.

Then it seemed that we were into the world where we lost our Compadre, the father of the Beautiful Daughter-in-law. He was diagnosed two months ago with liver cancer, had surgery which failed, then went into hospice, and died this Monday. Yesterday, I went down to the Spanish-speaking rosary which was held for him. It was a beautiful service, very moving, which from my poor translation, seemed to be asking Mary, the Mother of Jesus, to care for her son JP. Let Light Perpetual shine upon him.

Back from the Cruise

Tex and I had a great time on our cruise out of Galveston. Spent lots of great together time on the ship since he did not trust his scooter skills on the mainland. (He drives his scooter just like he drives a car, only the crashes are not deadly!) We are very tired but were delighted to find that he can travel this way. Lots of love to all.

Thanks be to God!

My son, who had survived five rounds of layoffs, was laid off one week after his wife went back to work after the new baby,. He maintained a very positive attitude, and got right to work getting out resumes, networking etc. Yesterday, he was hired for a new job, less than two weeks after he became unemployed. Hallelujah! Thanks be to God!

B Minor Mass

After 2 hours of sectional rehearsal yesterday, it actually seems possible that I might be able to sing the alto part in Bach's B Minor Mass! I'm not there yet, but I might actually get there. Our choir director is an amazing teacher and amazingly patient as well. Gulp, next week there are rehearsals at the other church with the other choir director. I am trying to get my nerve up to go in for a private lesson before next week. Oh, but the Mass is absolutely beautiful music!

With only one wing

Here is a quotation that I lifted from MB. It describes my view of life perfectly.

"We are, each of us, angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo

It is on the days when I feel most alone that I am grounded in the muck. The days that I embrace my situation and those around me are the days I can fly. Being a caregiver often seems very isolating, even isolating me from the beloved for whom I caring. I fight self-pity at times, and become critical of him. I long for the responsibility to be lifted yet I know that I would be devastated should that happen. Today I want a miracle so that he will be restored to the vigor of the man I married. Today I will embrace him as he is and be grateful for the days we have together. We fly together.